Relationship Anxiety – H&S Love Affair

What Is Relationship Anxiety?

Worrying every now and then especially in the beginning stages of the relationship is normal. However, when there is intense worrying accompanied by insecurity and doubt that could lead to self-sabotage and ultimately the relationship ending. Sometimes, excessive worrying can lead to distress and behaviours that may require professional intervention.

The Signs Of Relationship Anxiety

This can show up in many different ways. Some of the major signs to look out for:

1. Wondering If You Matter- This can manifest as feelings such as your partner is only with you for a reason other than he/she cares or loves you.

2. Filled With Doubts- Despite the 3 words being proclaimed, there’s still uncertainty of whether or not he/she loves me.

3. Constantly Worried- Being worried that the partner will leave one fine day.

4. Self-Sabotaging- Despite all going well, one has to self-sabotage not realising their damaging a potentially good relationship. This comes in the form of picking arguments over nothing, testing boundaries, etc.

The Causes Of Relationship Anxiety

There isn’t a single cause behind relationship anxiety. However, below is a list of some of the factors that could play a role:

1. Past Relationships- If your past partner for instance dumped you unexpectedly, or cheated on you, this could be a trigger that could provoke doubt and insecurity & usually has nothing to do with your current relationship.

2. Low Self-Esteem- Having low self-esteem, can invoke feelings of self-doubt leading to relationship insecurity and anxiety.

3. Negative Past Experiences In Childhood- Being abandoned by a parent for instance can have an impact on your relationship in adulthood. As one is deprived of love, support, and security one naturally seeks all that in their relationship as an adult.

Coping With Relationship Anxiety

Having relationship anxiety isn’t a death sentence, if addressed and worked on, one can overcome it, but this takes time and patience as some fears may be deeply rooted.

1. Be Aware- It’s important to embrace the negative thoughts, but not to hold on to them forever, let them pass.

2. Be Yourself- Losing yourself or changing to accommodate your partner isn’t something you need. Be true to yourself and don’t lose yourself in the process of trying to please your partner so that your relationship doesn’t end.

3. Be Open- Let your partner know how you feel. Usually, these episodes have to do more with yourself than your partner, but keeping them in the loop only helps strengthen your relationship.

If you’re still having difficulty with your anxiety then it’s important to get some professional help. A therapist is someone who will walk you through and work with you on your issues, helping you cope better.