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11 Aug, 2022
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feeling unloved

Feeling Unloved? – H&S Love Affair

10 Things To Do When You’re Feeling Unloved Or Unwanted In Your Relationshipfeeling unloved

Are you feeling unloved or unwanted by your partner? Do you feel your partner is ignoring you and your needs? We all want to and need to be ‘loved’ and ‘wanted’ & it’s very common to feel undesired at some point in your relationship, because no relationship is easy. The reasons behind this could be many, emotional or attachment issues, loss of spark, stress, anxiety, depression, insecurities, past traumas etc. What this means is that you need to be honest with yourself and your partner, keeping in mind not just how your partner’s behaviour impacts you, but also what may be the reason behind that behaviour. For example, has the sex life stopped because your partner is battling a long-term illness, or are you feeling unloved because you have some unresolved issues that are resurfacing due to stress? While nothing excuses feeling undesired in a relationship, and it’s definitely not a good feeling, there are things one can do when feeling unloved in a relationship!

Here’s a list of 10 things to do when you’re feeling unloved:

  1. Get In Touch With Your Feelings- If you are feeling undesired, before jumping to conclusions, get in touch with your feelings first. How do you feel? Anxious or stressed? Or do you feel betrayed? This will help you gauge the situation better and help you respond appropriately.
  2. Identify Your Attachment Style- Is this a problem due to your past, you learn how to love when you are a child, and if you had issues in your past a child, it’s possible it has been carried into your relationship. If you try to understand and accept this, you can work on yourself and stop feeling what you are feeling!
  3. Change Your Beliefs- If you are feeling undesired, it could be because deep down inside, you believe you don’t deserve to be loved or desired. Again, this belief, could be carried on from your past relationship with your ex or your parents. Whatever the case, you need to identify and change them!
  4. Communicate- Communication is key in every relationship. Whether the issues of feeling unloved are because of your beliefs, or the way your partner is treating you, you need to let your partner know how you feel & what you want. The issue can only be resolved if you talk them out!
  5. Listen & Let Your Partner Know You Love & Appreciate Them- Want to feel loved? But have you been giving love and attention to your partner? Give love, and you shall receive love. It could be as simple as saying ‘I really love you for everything you do for me’, that could fix the issue. Maybe you’re feeling unloved because you are not showing any love to your partner.
  6. Rule Out Toxic Behaviour- Are you a victim of toxic behaviour? Is your partner a narcissist? If you are not sure, turn to a professional for help, as it’s not always easy to know, however, a therapist will be able to help you in the right direction.
  7. Practice Self Love & Self Care- You first need to love yourself before others can love you. This positive mindset will also eliminate all negative thoughts and habits that could be dragging you down.
  8. Make Time For You & Your Partner- Sometimes spending quality time with your partner is all that it takes to keep the spark alive. Schedule date nights, and you and your partner won’t ever feel undesired.
  9. Be Desirable & Feel Desirable- Maybe all you need is that reminder of why you and your partner fell in love, in the first place. Whether you both put effort in dressing up or shared the little messages to remind one another of your love, a feeling of déjà vu is all that is needed to remind yourselves of your love.
  10. Consider A Therapist- If you are not sure and unable to resolve the feelings, it’s best you speak to a professional who can help you work through your feelings, and show you and your partner the right direction for your relationship.




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