Relationship Gone Wrong – H&S Love Affair
Relationship Gone Wrong – Understanding The Why & How
Let’s be honest who doesn’t want to be in a perfect relationship? Guess what? There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect relationship’. We, humans, are quite delusional in the sense where we believe things such as a perfect relationship exists. Perfect is a word that we can only associate with God. Remember we are creatures that have flaws and tend to err hence the term perfect relationship is just a misnomer. What we should really be looking at is the term a balanced relationship which is all about being equal partners and making sure each one is safe, comfortable, and supported along with their independence. That’s a healthy relationship and it involves effective communication, safety, trust, and respect for one another’s differences. Now it’s easy to grasp the concept that once this balance is lost then you have a ‘relationship gone wrong’. Safety & trust are key to having a balanced relationship and they go hand-in-hand, where safety is the foundation for trust and trust transforms into safety. For a balanced relationship, it’s therefore important to have safety and trust whereby each partner can speak their mind freely without having to pull back or shut down. Having said that, not all issues stem from a lack of safety or trust. So what tilts the balance then? Below are 3 main reasons why a relationship can go wrong!
1. Your Relationship With Yourself – That’s right! Did you know that your relationship with your partner is nothing but a reflection of your relationship with yourself? Do the words ‘To love others you must first love yourself’ ring a bell? In other words, the relationship you develop with yourself determines your relationship with your partner. The better the relationship with yourself, the more passionate/desiring you are of your partner, and the more you will be able to love your partner. This ‘desire’ is not one out of need but rather fullness. Insecurity is another issue & the more insecure you are, the more the desire to either control your partner or let your partner control you. Both of which lead to conflict.
2. Communication – Or rather poor communication is what causes a drift. But have you ever tried to understand why the poor communication in the first place? Poor communication is a result of not knowing how to handle one’s emotions. It’s therefore important to understand your emotions and know how to manage them correctly by sharing them with your partner.
3. Pointing Out The Obvious Differences – Yes, there are striking differences between you and your partner, and no partner can be the same. However, it’s important to respect & acknowledge the differences, rather than judge and devalue them.