Why Forgive? – Positive Reflection Of The Week
Why Forgive?- Is Forgiveness The Right Thing To Do?
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Matthew 18: 21-22 NIV
Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful gifts we can give ourselves. Carrying the burden of pain, hurt and guilt all your life is like walking with tonnes of load on your back all the time. Take that load off if you want to experience your own miracles in this very lifetime.
Master Choa Kok Sui (The Founder of Modern Pranic Healing & Arhatic Yoga) tells us to seek forgiveness from those we have hurt in this lifetime or any other and, similarly, ask for forgiveness from those who have hurt you. With forgiveness begins healing.
In ‘Miracles Through Pranic Healing’, for cases where a patient is not getting healed, MCKS talks about pent up resentment and helping patient release it. It might sound rather simplistic but practice it and you would wish you had done this earlier on in life.
Personally, when I first heard about forgiveness, the instant thought that came to my mind was “that’s so easy, I will finish it tonight”. To start with, I made a list of people who hurt me. No sooner had I started preparing the list that I began to understand it would take me a while. It took me several days of thinking. The first list was obvious- major hurts which I thought had deeply affected me.
As days passed by, many other people and incidents that triggered a negative emotion- hurt, anger, resentment, fear in me, months and years after they actually happened- started coming to my mind. Accepting that those people were also to be included in the list was more than acknowledging the fact. It also meant keeping my ego aside and admitting that, yes, those events did affect me.
I continued practising forgiving those people, cutting the cords and blessing them. It brought an immense sense of peace and relief. I felt free as a bird. A feeling of starting life afresh without the burden of all that pain and hurt was incomparable to any other freedom I had felt in my life.
Soon I was ready to make a list of those who I thought I’d have hurt. Much to my surprise, a large number, or rather, the majority of those in this list were already in the previous list of people who I thought had hurt me. And so also came the understanding of how I either reacted to the hurt by those people or how I was the first one to hurt them. More realisations were to come my way.
I had always thought of myself as a loyal, true friend, someone who loved people around me. But as I continued to forgive, I also saw how I suspected the motives of people and how I negatively reacted to some of my friends’ innocent queries. The reactions were not necessarily conveyed verbally to those friends. Many times I would keep thinking about it, at others, I would try to avoid those friends or make efforts to hide things.
But now I knew it was not about them, it was all about me. I also came to understand the root of my resentment, hurt and anger. Efforts to please other people, gain acceptance had many times resulted in negative emotions particularly when I was doing things I did not want to do. The process went on.
Forgiveness is not merely saying “I forgive you” or “I seek your forgiveness.” As I pursued, I understood how much more it meant. And then, I also included myself. This brought on another transformation.
As I continued, I could see the changes for myself. My anger and irritation levels came down, I felt more energetic, much calmer with improved self-esteem. I also realized how forgiveness is not an overnight process, it is continuous and will go on until we reach a stage where we respond to everything with love.
In the initial stages, I would take time to do the forgiveness exercise. Over time, I started to forgive people the same day, gradually the same hour and now, I think of forgiveness the moment I see that negative emotion raising its head inside me.
It’s time you too unburden yourself. Forgive.
Here are a few tips for you to practice forgiveness:
1. Make a list of people who have hurt you. List major hurts, as well as minor ones. That friend in school who humiliated you, the co-passenger who pushed you in a bus, a co-worker who put you down many years ago, a parent, an abusive relationship, everything and anything that made you feel bad.
2. Forgive these people one by one.
3. Make a list of people who you hurt and seek forgiveness from them on by one.
4. As you forgive and seek forgiveness, tell them (in your meditation) how you understand we all make mistakes.
5. Bless the people who hurt you and also those who you hurt. Send them love. You might need to keep repeating this one until you are able to send them love with ease. That is when real forgiveness has happened.
6. Make forgiveness exercise a part of your daily routine. Catch your negative emotions and practise instant forgiveness.
It is not about who is right or wrong, it’s about doing the right thing. Let them pardon and overlook.
Would you not love for Allah to forgive you? Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. – Surah An-Nur 24:22
“If you want to see the brave, look at those who can forgive. If you want to see the heroic, look at those who can love in return for hatred.”― Bhagavad Gita
– Article courtesy Pranaworld.org
Shahwana Khanam – Pranic Healer