Unfixable Relationship Issues – H&S Love Affair
Many couples have been indoors since March and for the couples who have been living together, this so-called ‘4 months and counting’ period for some of them has been a blessing, whilst for others an eyeopener. This period has been a teacher for many couples & most have managed to learn whether they’re truly compatible & meant for each other or that they’re just not meant to be together. A lot of couples have worked or are still working through their relationship problems and a lot of the problems, thank God, are fixable for example is the phone getting annoying or has been the problem? Yes? The answer is simple, set some rules such as having ‘no-phone zones’ for e.g. at the dining table, in the bedroom etc and the problem is solved. However, not every problem has a solution and there are some relationship issues that can’t be fixed no matter what & that moving on is the best thing to do rather than being stuck in a toxic relationship for eternity! So what are these relationship problems that can’t be fixed?
1. You Loathe & Disrespect Each Other- Remember, love and respect are the basis of a happy relationship, however, when this is replaced with the feeling of hatred and disrespect, you know it’s time to walk out! There’s no point continuing a relationship where you can’t have mutual respect and love.
2. You Are Stuck With A Serial Cheater- Infidelity is one of the main causes for relationships to end. Remember, the relationship can only be salvaged if the cheater is honest and ready to work on him/herself. If you are however stuck with an unfaithful partner who keeps cheating it’s time to leave. There’s no point having your heart broken so many times!
3. Your Partner Is Secretive- Is your partner hiding things from you all the time? Is he/she always protective of his/her phone/laptop? Remember for a successful relationship openness/honesty is key. If you can’t be open with each other it means there are trust issues. If the person isn’t willing to change his/her nature then it’s time to leave.
4. There Are Never-Ending Intimacy Issues- If you have incompatible sex drives then this can create a huge divide in your relationship. The lack of desire and or not getting needs fulfilled can be a huge put-off. Yes, with time the ‘honeymoon phase’ wanes off, however, most couples who work on keeping the spark alive have a long-lasting relationship. If there’s no effort from both sides, then this can, unfortunately, be a major deal-breaker. Either one ends up in an affair or the relationship dies. A marriage or relationship without sex/intimacy is unacceptable to most.
5. You’re Stuck With A Narcissist- A narcissist is someone who believes the world must revolve around them. These self-obsessed people tend to feed off the other partner, not caring about the partner’s needs and wants, making them feel miserable at all times. When you are stuck with a narcissistic partner, you may be tricked into believing things will change but the behaviour pattern very soon returns. They have a smooth way to get around and tend to dangle the carrot well, but if you ask any therapist they will tell you not to be fooled. They are like blood-sucking parasites who tend to suck the life out of people! Their happiness, needs and wants are all that matters and they know how to get it from their partner. This kind of abusive relationship doesn’t work as living with a narcissist is taxing and emotionally and mentally draining.
6. Your Partner Is Abusive- Swearing once a while and being upset once a while is normal. However, if this gets out of hand and your partner has anger issues and is abusive (verbally or physically), it’s time to leave. A person who has anger issues is unlikely to change unless he/she resolves to therapy. Most times, this ends badly for the partner who is being abused. Know your boundaries and don’t let yourself be treated disrespectfully, walk out before you get sucked in and it’s too late.