Support Your Child To Be Confident – By Michelle Arscott
Why Support Your Child To Be Confident! – Written By Michelle Arscott
If you asked any parent in the world what attributes they would like their child to be blessed with, most, if not all, would respond with confidence and kindness. Lack of confidence in children can manifest itself in many ways, such as issues with making friends and potentially bullying situations.
A child being self-assured, knowing their worth and value, being happy with who they are sets them up
positively for so many things in life. How as parents can you contribute to your children’s confidence?
Make Them Feel Loved And Special
‘Love Bomb’ your child so they feel the love. There is nothing like feeling loved and special!
In these busy times, we don’t always have time to explicitly tell our children how special they are. We often show our love through our actions. Sometimes children need to hear that they are loved too.
Write Your Child A Love Letter
Tell your child what they mean to you. For example, tell them how you felt when they were born when you heard their first cry, and why they are so important. It’s even more special if you can actually handwrite the letter and give it to your child in an envelope. I often set this as a home play activity with my coachees, the expression on their faces when they read the love letters from their nearest and dearest is priceless.
Awesome Jar
A family awesome jar can be a fancy glass jar, a recycled jam jar or even an old tissue box. Family members write down on separate pieces of paper individual examples of awesomeness exhibited by themselves and the family. Every day, the family could reflect, for example after dinner and write or draw some examples and post in the jar. You could use this as an opportunity to emphasize the attributes that you want your children to develop such as kindness, consideration of others, and things that promote growth mindset like effort, stamina, and not giving up. Focusing your comments on when you see those desired traits, no matter how short an episode it is…catch them doing good! Also, you and your partner can praise each other for those traits too, role modelling is a powerful teaching tool for learning. At the end of the week have a family ritual, emptying the jar and reading all the comments and looking at the pictures.
Dedicated Focus Time
Yes, you spend time with your child, but is it quality time? Moreover, is it what the child wants to do? Ask your child what they would love to do with you, and you may be surprised by their response. My boys would probably say sitting on a rug and sliding down the stairs. Do the activity they desire, as safely as possible. Most importantly, put your phone away and just be with them 100 per cent with no interruption. If you have more than one child, if feasible, spend one-on-one time with each separately. Then repeat the activity at another time – this time you get to choose what activity you would like to do.
Support Them To Develop Their Self-Worth Externally
Find Their Passion
Nothing makes you feel as good as doing something you enjoy; it’s a great confidence booster. Take your child to different activities, expose them to different opportunities until they find what makes their heart sing. Encourage the activity and, even better, participate with them sometimes.
Let Them Feel Of Value
As a teacher, my students used to love it when I gave them responsibilities and the role of helper. Continue this at home. Ask your child to prepare snacks, make their bed, and help with chores. Let this reach beyond the immediate home and spread this sense of purpose and value to the wider community. Kenya is blessed as there are so many opportunities to help others: get your children to sort out gently loved toys and books to donate to orphanages and schools; plant trees at Karura Forest; care and socialise for rescued dogs with organisations such as KSPCA and TNR…
Be A Role Model
Most importantly, model confidence in yourself, from confident self-talk, finding your passion, giving to the community, to loving yourself – know your own value and self-worth too!
Which confidence-boosting activity are you going to start with your family today?
Michelle Arscott – The International Adult & Kids Life Coach
BSc (Econ) Psychology & Sociology
PGCE Education
ILM certified Coach
Kids Life Studio Certified Coach