Relationship Myths – H&S Love Affair
Relationship Myths: 4 Common Things That People Consider Toxic In A Relationship, That Are Actually Healthy!
Most people have misconceptions about ‘love’ and what a good relationship should entail. They have unrealistic beliefs that blur their understanding of what a purposeful and strong relationship should be, which is actually completely different from reality. The definition of ‘love’ varies across the board, and not one single definition is enough to define a successful relationship. If love is all it takes, then every relationship should be perfect, yet so many of the relationships end and not all end painfully. On the other hand, intimacy, happiness, and trust are used to define a good relationship. Yes, all these are necessary ingredients to forming a lasting relationship but we need to understand that there is so much more to a relationship and the dynamics of a good lasting relationship go beyond societal ideations. Once we accept that every relationship is different, we will be able to understand the myths better.
1. All Conflicts Must Be Resolved Through Communication- This is one of the biggest myths. Not every conflict needs to be resolved and there’s nothing wrong with an unresolved conflict. All this means is that the two people involved think differently and don’t always see eye to eye. Yes, communication is key for the most part, but it doesn’t necessarily need to be used to resolve all conflicts. This misconception has caused many couples to believe that their relationship isn’t perfect if they have an unresolved conflict. Basing your relationship on one disagreement, trying to perfect it, is a lie couples keep living by. Instead what should be focussed on is that it’s okay to disagree and conflicts are inevitable and trying to resolve some conflicts can do more damage than good.
2. Hurting Each Other’s Feelings Is Absolutely Unacceptable- Another common myth. If you need to be honest at the cost of hurting your partner’s feelings, choosing to be honest, should be more important. Remember, every once in a while you will hurt your partner’s feelings and that’s okay. Lying to your partner to make them feel good about themself or to make them hear what they want to as supposed to what is needed, is not an ideal relationship any couple should seek after.
3. Spending Time Apart Ruins A Relationship- The two people involved in a relationship may have different likes and dislikes. Taking up each other’s hobbies, for instance, to keep one another happy may sound sweet but doing this all the time can be taxing and uncomfortable. You are you, so be you. The problem is that people try and change themselves and make their lives revolve around that one person that they love, not realising how toxic it is for themselves and the relationship. Romanticizing and allowing yourself to be consumed by the relationship is a matter to worry about because, in the process, you change yourself and cease being ‘that person’ your partner fell in love with. Therefore, spending time on what you love and enjoy doing, from time to time, asserting your independence is important for a healthy lasting relationship.
4. My Partner Is Perfect- Another myth! No relationship is perfect and no partner is perfect. Accepting your partner the way he/she is, is imperative for a lasting relationship. Once you accept your partner the way he/she is i.e. with his/her flaws, there won’t be a need or desire to change them.