Relationship Myths - By Reshma - H&S Magazine Kenya

May 2, 2019

Relationship Myths – By Reshma

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Myths That Revolve Around Relationships – By Reshma

How we live out our love relationship is not as complicated as how we perceive it. As a therapist I see why women suffer. I feel it is largely because of so many misguided beliefs that we live by. That a love relationship ‘should’ be a certain way regardless of how it actually is.

Here are some common misconceptions that amplify our egos and block us from going with the flow in our partnership:

1. The relationship should stay the same.

Seriously? Let’s just stop right there and think about this. Is this even in accordance with the law of nature? Who ever said “change is the only constant?”

Look, the only thing consistent in life is change. Human beings are ever-shifting ever-evolving creatures. And because we are in relationships with other human beings, the nature of these relationships are always changing. This is very obvious is it not? Our spouses are adapting themselves based on who they are and what their circumstances are at that time. We women do this too. So to believe that our partnership should stay consistent is largely being delusional, and will only bring about suffering. There are many aspects to a love relationship; some of these aspects may stay the same with time, many may not, and the key lies in working through these features. In all honesty, relationships can never stay the same, and they very well shouldn’t. Do you know why? Because when there is inertia there is neither any growth for yourself nor for your partner.

2.Our relationship should fulfill our expectations and needs.

It is human nature to expect. To hope. To wish. To pine for. But because of man’s disposition (which keeps changing all the time), it would be hard to keep up with these expectations isn’t it? When we expect that our relationship should fulfill all our needs, aren’t we actually kidding ourselves? The only person who can fulfill everything for you is you. Your needs come from within and they can only be met from within. If you want to feel happiness and joy, it is not the responsibility of the external world to make it happen. You have to make it happen for yourself by yourself. It is only from that position of strength and self-sustenance can we heal faster, feel gratitude, be more productive, creative and manifest whoever we want to meet along the way.

3.The relationship should have one soulmate.

Our life journey is extensive and experiential. Some of us may have one soul mate, some of us may have many along the way. Whoever is presented to us at that point in time becomes a soul mate is it not? This is the beauty and mystery of life. Why should we deny ourselves this thought? When we believe that our partner is the be -all and end-all or vice versa, we are only rooting our egos further. Once we understand this, we will be able to let go of each other (when things fall apart) without grudges, grief, bitterness and resentment.