Positive Parenting – By Michelle Arscott

Importance Of Positive Parenting! – Written By Michelle Arscott

Read any book on the subject of happiness be it ‘The Secret’, ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ or ‘The Happiness Project’ and you will always find that being positive is at the core of the author’s message of how to lead a happy life. Could it also be the key to happy families? Let us have a look at how we can be positive parents and the impact of being positive.

Act And Be Positive

Begin with yourself and make sure that you are happy. After all, you are the engine of your family, so it is important that you look after yourself, otherwise what good is a car with a faulty engine.

So think about what you can do to make yourself feel positive, relaxed and energized? One parent suggested looking back at what you used to do to make you happy pre-children and then see how you can incorporate this into your current life. She identified activities like listening to music, and now drives the children to school whilst listening to her favourite uplifting song. A simple act that gives her so much pleasure and ensures a smiling mummy at the school gates.

Another parent recommended singing, so every morning, even when she’s not feeling great, she sings in the shower and she finds that this lifts her spirits. In fact, even the act of just making sure that you smile as much as possible can do wonders for your mood. Research clearly shows the link between acting positive and being positive!

You Are Not Alone

Surround yourself with other like-minded parents, because it can easily seem as if you are the only parent in the world who is facing challenges, who is struggling, and who has children who will not behave. However, the reality is you are not alone and most parents will agree that parenting is not easy for anyone. Get together with other parents of children ideally of similar ages and share your experiences, swap ideas and laugh. Being with kindred spirits is a healthy fun way of putting parenting into perspective and realizing that most of the challenges we face are in fact normal and not a consequence of bad parenting.

You Are Doing A Good Job

Take a step back and appreciate the things that are going right for you as a parent? What are you most proud of? What have you achieved as a parent today, this week, this month? What obstacle have you overcome? What are your children’s positive attributes? How has your life changed for the better since becoming a parent?

If you find it really difficult to acknowledge your success, think about what your children, friends and family would say in response to the question. Remind yourself that you are a great parent.

Mind Your Language

Make a concerted effort to use positive language only. Research indicates that eighty-five percent of our conversation is often negative. Praise your children particularly for their efforts. Studies clearly show children are more motivated if they are praised for their effort rather than their ability.

Catch them when they are behaving the way you want them to do. “Good job for using a quiet voice,” “Well done for being gentle with your sister.” Explain to them why they are being praised, because it helps them know what to do next time. Ultimately children like to please their parents.

Avoid the infamous ‘no’ word, for example, instead of, “No, you can’t go to your friends.” Try starting your sentences with ‘Yes.’ “Yes, you can go to your friends next Thursday.” Or “Yes you can go to the park after you have had your lunch.”

Express Gratitude

Around the world, people are embarking on gratitude projects, some writing books on their experiences such as the New York bestseller ‘The Happy Project’. Others turn to social media such as Instagram to share their happiness, taking a photo to represent a moment of their day that they are grateful for. Taking stock of the good things in life is a great way to be positive and appreciative.

Tonight rather than going to bed and focusing on what you did not achieve during the day – why not try this simple but powerful exercise? Express three things that you were grateful for today as a parent.

Why Is It Important To Be A Positive Parent?

I know that when I am positive, I am the parent I want to be. I can turn tears into smiles and giggles, see the humour in situations and, have the patience and stamina to reason with a toddler’s logic. Most of all I am appreciative of being a mummy.

I asked several parents to also share how it feels when they are positive.

“I feel happier, less stressed and I then find that positive things always seem to happen…call it karma. I might get a free cookie from the coffee shop or get invited out for lunch or even get a random hug from my child”.
-Alison

“I smile more and my kids smile more too if I am in a bad mood I find that the kids become more whiney and whingy.”
-Aisha

“You are practising what you preach, as I am always telling them to enjoy, laugh smile and be happy. At the end of the day, children learn by example not by our words.”
-Fatima

“The time goes so quickly with our children, being positive ensures that we value those precious short years.”
-Tom

Positivity is, in fact, the secret to good parenting and happy families. Why don’t you try it for a week and see? Have a family praise day, act positively, express gratitude daily and see what impact it has on your family.

Happy Parenting!

 

Michelle Arscott – The International Adult & Kids Life Coach

BSc (Econ) Psychology & Sociology
PGCE Education
ILM certified Coach
Kids Life Studio Certified Coach

 

What are your thoughts on positive parenting? Do you have any parental challenges? Let us know If you have any concerns or questions about parenting, leave your comments below & our expert will get back to you!