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16 Mar, 2023
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toddler tantrums

Parents’ Guide To Toddler Tantrums!

Toddler Tantrums: Everything You Need To Know

A toddler is a child aged 1 to 3 years which is a time of great cognitive, emotional as well as social development but is also a time of tantrums. Toddler tantrums is basically a way of the child expressing his/her frustration & can be quite unpleasant, embarrassing and sometimes difficult for a first timer parent to handle. To be able to understand what this is a parent needs to first understand why the child is upset.

Tantrums can come in various forms ranging in the form of crying, screaming to even holding breath, kicking, banging the head, biting etc. Each child is different and unique and thus the tantrum varies from child to child. The reason behind a child throwing a fit also varies, it could be because he/she is angry as he/she didn’t get his way (usually when a toy is taken away or their demand isn’t met), or when they are tired, hungry or uncomfortable.

Remember toddlers are learning to talk, walk and basically become independent. This may seem like a normal transition to most, however it is a huge transition in the toddler’s world. To others this may seem like a spoilt child screaming or crying but in reality it’s just a frustrated child who has learnt how to channel it’s emotions.

So you may ask what’s the solution to this? The best answer to this is “AVOID THE TANTRUM IN THE FIRST PLACE”. This may sound cliché but in fact is the best solution to the problem!

toddler tantrums

5 Ways Of Avoiding Tantrums:

  1. Give Your Child Attention- When he/she does something good whatever little good that might be, always praise and reward the child. This inculcates positive behaviour.
  2. Don’t Be Too Bossy- Allow the child to make minor decisions. If the child wants carrots and not cucumbers, don’t force the child to have cucumbers. If you want your child to have veggies just ask them whether they want carrots or cucumbers, this way you avoid a child fussing over nothing. Similarly brushing teeth is a good habit, so instead of forcing that decision on the child ask them “do you want to brush your teeth before or after your bath?” This avoids the whole “NO” & fussing situation.
  3. Use Distraction To Avoid Tantrums- toddlers have a small attention span and can easily be distracted, use this to your advantage and when you see a situation going downhill just change it. It’s literally that simple.
  4. Listen To Your Child- When the child asks for something before saying no ask yourself is it unreasonable?
  5. Is Your Child Tired?Know His/Her Limits- If your toddler is tired then maybe it’s time to put him/her to nap. A tired child is always going to be cranky and uneasy!

What To Do In An Ongoing Tantrum?

When your child is throwing a fit, remain calm! Screaming back is not going to help anyone. After all you want to help teach your child how to calm down & the only way it can be done is when you, yourself is calm.

Depending on the tantrum whether child is hungry or tired or whether he/she is just having an outburst you need to handle the situation. If your child is tired or hungry you need to comfort him/her accordingly. If it is an outburst or a way of getting your attention because he/she wanted that toy for e.g., ignore it and use the means of distraction!

If your child bangs his/her head or bites or kicks and could hurt himself/herself then the best thing to do is take them into a quiet and safe place & calm them down.

You need to know when to be firm and when to ignore and you will learn this as you learn your child better. Remember parenting isn’t all a natural gift, somethings don’t come naturally, you have to learn them on the journey of parenthood. You are not a bad parent if you have to be firm with the child, use Time-outs, or hold your child firmly for a few minutes. Don’t ever hit the child.

What To Do After The Tantrum Is Over?

NEVER reward your child once the tantrum is over. This will make the child think that what he/she did was right. Just praise them for getting out of it by saying things like “Good job for calming down” etc & then give them a hug to let them know you still love him/her.

Set a bedtime! Let your child get enough sleep as children who sleep less are prone to becoming hyper and uneasy. After all a well slept child is a happy tantrum-free child!

If you have tried all this but your child still behaves unreasonably then maybe it’s time you visit your paediatrician as children can’t express what they’re going through! Usually hearing, visual impairments, chronic illnesses, speech delay or other learning disabilities can be a cause of tantrum. Having said that remember, most tantrums are NOT a cause of worry so don’t panic it’s just a phase and as toddlers mature they grow out of this. Remember control is the key & the best way possible is to PREVENT the child from throwing a fit! Happy child = happy parents!



If you have any concerns or questions as parents, leave your comments below our experts will get back to you!

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