It’s All About Giving Space! – By Reshma

Giving Space Is Necessary For A Harmonious Relationship! – An Article By Reshma Raju

Are there days when you or your partner wake up on the wrong side of bed and feel fuzzy in the head for no reason at all, or need time to recover post an argument?

And during that time don’t we feel a compelling need to ask our partner what is wrong and get to the bottom of it to the point of their explosion?

This is fodder for further fights.

Please allow your partner to settle down with their feelings. It is highly possible that they have no idea why they are feeling that way in the first place. Let them have their space, even more so if they ask for it. Let them have a few hours to calm down so that they can talk about it later.

It is quite normal to feel angry or upset if your loved one asks for space and time, but listen to their reasoning. Many a time they might need a break from the relationship even if we don’t, so it is important to acknowledge this need and try and understand their feelings. Try and see where it is coming from even if it means having to address your own shortcomings.

Allow them to process their feelings in that moment by providing a safe space. Exercise some patience and don’t interrupt. Your feelings are as valid as theirs but allow your partner to express at their own time in their own way.

Remember that if your partner felt absolutely comfortable asking you for space it means that they trust you.

Ask them how much time and space they need. If your partner can explain their feelings, try and be as non-judgemental as possible. Letting judgement seep into your tone will shift your questions into nagging zone. Respect their process as someone who cares.

Ask your partner ” What space can I give you? What do you need from me?”

Healthy couples take time out for themselves. This isn’t an attempt to break the relationship (if your partner wanted to break up they would have). In fact giving space can strengthen the relationship further.

Keep an even voice when giving your partner their much needed time-off to process their thoughts. Stay calm and don’t jump to conclusions. Remind yourself that you want your significant other to be happy and this will definitely get them to appreciate you further.

Remember, a sound relationship requires balance between the time you are together and the time that requires you to spend apart. Spending time to internalise feelings is not a bad thing at all.

Then when your partner is ready to talk about it, they will.

 

By Reshma Raju
M.Sc Psychology,
Certified Women’s Health Coach (USA)