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29 Mar, 2024
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gaslighting

Gaslighting: A Manipulative Tool – H&S Love Affair

Are You A Victim Of Gaslighting?

gaslighting
Gaslighting in a relationship, is a manipulative tool used by a toxic partner to take control over the partner, by making them question their own reality & self-worth. Simply put it is a form of psychological manipulation or emotional abuse. So how do you know if you are a victim of gaslighting & what can be done? Keep reading this article to find out!

5 signs You Are A Victim Of Gaslighting:

1. You Are Doubting Your Perception Of Reality
If you feel yourself questioning the reality to the point where you are doubting yourself and feel like you ‘don’t have it together’, then chances are you are a victim of gaslighting. It may not be easy to pick this up, but if you are constantly second-guessing and find yourself feeling like you’re losing your mind, then that’s a major sign you’re being gaslit.

2. You Are Constantly Lied To & Manipulated By Your Partner
If your partner has a habit to use lies to manipulate you, then you can be certain, you are being gaslit. There will be no remorse for the lies even if confronted, and commonly the story will be twisted in a way that will make you question yourself.

3. You Are Shut Down & Talked Over During Conflicts
If in a conflict or argument, you will notice a trend that the gaslighter, will not let you have your say. Typically, you will be shut down, and not given any opportunity to speak, and if you do try to, you will be disregarded and deviated from the point of conflict. In short, it will boil down to the point where you start questioning your sanity.

4. Your Feelings Don’t Matter
If you do bring up any concerns or try share your feelings, your partner will usually make you feel as though ‘you’re overthinking’, ‘you’re oversensitive’, & dismiss your feelings. This is completely opposite to what happens in a healthy relationship, where a partner carefully listens to the issues and addresses them.

5. You Feel Guilty To Say Anything
You may find it hard to open up about your feelings, as guilt takes over. Obviously, there is no reason to feel guilty and one should be able to express their feelings and opinions without feeling suppressed. So if you find it hard, then this is an indicator that the gaslighter has complete control over you.

How To Stop Being The Victim & Take Back Control

Gaslighting is extremely damaging. No one should have anxiety, low self-esteem, low confidence, lack of trust in a relationship. In order to stop the abuse, you need to first understand and accept that you are being gaslit. The next step is to stand up for yourself & take control, in order to get out of the vicious abusive cycle.

1. Stay Calm
It’s easy to get frustrated, sad, angry, anxious, confused and so on, as being a victim of  gaslighting is very exhausting. No matter the emotions, try and focus on keeping calm and composed by taking deep breaths and counting to 10, as this helps you make rational decisions.

2. Distance Yourself From The Situation
Take some space & move away from the situation. This will help you focus and help you remain sane!

3. Be Bold & Speak Up
You need to speak up & let your partner know that you won’t accept such behaviour. This allows you to remain confident and your partner can’t take control. If the person who is gaslighting is not aware, he/she may stop once made aware. However, if your partner is a narcissist then it may not have any effect on them.

4. Set Your Boundaries
Don’t let your partner violate your personal boundary, by dictating how you should feel or react in a situation. Once you set boundaries and adhere to them, the abuser will have to learn to respect them.

5. Get Help
Talking to a professional can help you in your recovery process as it ascertains your thoughts and helps you rebuild your confidence, self-esteem and take back control over your life!

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