Being Possessive In A Relationship – H&S Love Affair

7 Signs Your Partner’s Possessive!

Some people mistake possessiveness to be love, when in fact it’s the complete opposite of love. It is a form of ‘ownership’, where one partner believes the other ‘belongs’ to them. Love, on the other hand doesn’t involve force or control. It is liberating & involves having and making a choice & has no confinements. Possessiveness stems from insecurity. It’s a feeling of suffocation that can create a divide. If taken too far, this can actually lead to other issues such as jealousy, abuse, paranoia or stalking. It’s therefore important to know the signs before it takes a toll on your relationship.

7  Signs Of Possessive Behaviour-

1. It’s All About Control-  If your partner is possessive they will control everything from where you go to what you wear and whom you meet. They will prefer keeping you indoors and may use manipulation to get their way.

2. Your Partner Will Be Needy As Well As Clingy- You will be reminded that you are the most important person in their world and their world revolves around you alone, and this will be seen by their absence of social life. Their life will be completely focused around yours so much that they appear needy and clingy.

3. Stalker Alert!- Keeping a tab on everything you do, checking your social media, phone, messages, emails etc.

4. Blame It On Love-  Constant justification of the controlling behaviour, jealousy or paranoia by pulling the ‘It’s out of love’ excuse, to escape or avoid taking blame.

5. Using Manipulation- Emotional or psychological manipulation may be used to get their way.

6. Jealousy- Feeling a little jealous in a relationship is normal, however, if your partner is consumed by jealousy then that’s most likely stemming from an insecurity or a toxic need for control.

7. Every Decision You Make, Must Involve Them- In other words, you can’t make a decision without them. This may even stand in the way of your personal goals as you aren’t allowed to choose or decide for yourself.

How To Handle A Possessive Partner?

As you are now aware, possessiveness stems from insecurity which comes from fear of abandonment, rejection and powerlessness. This results in lack of self-confidence as well as self-love, which is why they feel they “NEED” you to be content. This is where the whole ownership issue comes into play.

So the next question is, then how do you handle a possessive partner?

1. Help your partner to re-establish his/her self-confidence, self-love which is important to break the possessive behaviour.

2. Make time to talk to your partner and have open conversations about how their behaviour affects you and the relationship.

3. Be patient as it’s not easy to accept the negative behaviour and it can take some time to work, it may become necessary to involve a therapist to help with the process.

4. If there is no willingness to change then give an ultimatum.