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29 Mar, 2024
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Dating Someone with baggage

Are You Dating Someone With Baggage?- H&S Love Affair

5 Signs You’re Dating Someone With Baggage!dating someone with baggage

Honestly, everyone wishes to start a relationship with a clean slate. After all who wants to be involved with someone who is carrying emotional baggage. However, what we desire is far different from reality. In truth, every human is practically the same when it comes to “carrying baggage”, but the amount differs from individual to individual. Sometimes, when a person is carrying a lot of emotional baggage it can prevent him/her from forming new relationships and if they are able to form one, it can quickly cause the relationship to end. To prevent your relationship from turning rocky you need to understand your partner’s reasons for all that baggage and then carefully manoeuvre, making sure the relationship turns into a longterm bliss! After all your partner’s past can either make or break your relationship, so be careful.

If you are dating someone with baggage just know one thing about them that one of the main reasons why your partner may be unable to commit fully is possibly due to that baggage. Remember, it takes time to get over the past completely and at times it can be very difficult depending on the experience which could be a combination of either emotional trauma or heartbreak resulting in the individual to become sceptical of all future relationships to avoid going through the same pain, hence the detachment.

Remember, no relationship is easy and dating someone with baggage is not going to be easier. It takes time, and effort to tackle the issues of your partner. If you don’t have patience and find it too time-consuming then there’s no point in trying. If you are, however, looking for a longterm committment then it’s best to use as much open communication as possible!

Here Are The 5 Common Signs You’re Dating Someone With Baggage:

1. Your Partner Keeps Their Ex Alive-  Whether it’s constant conversations about their ex or your partner dwells in the past, monitors every move of their ex and reacts every now and then, for example to their posts on social media, then believe it or not they are stuck in their past and have some unresolved issues. Normally if your partner is happy being in a relationship with you they would have naturally blocked all communication with their ex and not bothered to check on them. It’s best that you talk openly & try and find out what’s holding your partner back and the reason he/she keeps dwelling in his/her past, then once your partner has opened up to you, you too need to let your partner know that it makes you feel uncomfortable and that he/she needs to stop living in the past.

 

2. Your Partner Says “You Make Me So Much Happier Than….” & Is Constantly Comparing You To Their Ex- It’s amazing to be praised by your partner to know that you make them happy but when your partner uses those dreaded words “you make me so much happier than….”, it’s like they are comparing you to their past relationship and they are trying to get over that relationship. Also, if your partner is constantly comparing you to his/her ex then this is a red flag that they are still stuck in the past and unable to move forward. If small things are triggering them to react strongly then it means that they still have a lot of baggage from the past. Talk to your partner and let them know how it truly makes you feel when they say/do that. Let them know that you want to see them happy but don’t want to be compared to their exes. Tell them that you can’t change what happened and you are not a substitute either and for that reason, the past is the past.

 

3. Your Partner Seems Emotionally Detached- If you are trying to get intimate with your partner and your partner seems detached then there’s a problem. It means that the heartache or trauma from your partner’s past relationship is holding him/her back. If this is a problem you’re facing then don’t wait till they walk out on you. Talk to your partner if space is what is needed to deal with all the emotions, be gentle and allow time and space to heal. Remember emotional scars take longer to heal than the physical ones!

 

4. Your Partner Has Trust & Control Issues- Remember, trust is an issue for those whose hearts have been broken. As a result of these trust issues, you have control issues. Your partner may start asking silly questions which will require a lot of reassurance from you so that your partner doesn’t feel insecure. Controlling behaviour is actually a consequence of a bad experience of betrayal in order to avoid the betrayal and feel safe. Again, if you are looking to stick with your partner despite their baggage, then all you need is, not only to be honest, loyal and patient but to show them the same so that it helps restore their faith to trust again!

 

5. Your Partner Uses ‘Blame Game’ & Is Very Negative- You don’t blame everyone and everything for your shortcomings. However, if your partner does this then they’re stuck in their past with a negative mindset and blaming is just a consequence of their emotional baggage to help prevent them from getting close to you. You need to, therefore, understand that because of the heartache your partner is unable to trust again and that he/she finds it convenient to use the blame game to escape his/her issues. Talk it out with your partner to try and help overcome their issues and negativity.

 

 

 

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