The Pursuit of Happiness – Positive Reflection Of The Week
Alia’s Message: ‘This is not the year you get everything you want. This is the year you appreciate everything you have.’
In the midst of the pandemic and its effects on us, we have all sought pleasure in one way or another. We all desire happiness and turn away from suffering because the very purpose of life is to be happy. If anything, 2020 has helped many of us discover what brings us the greatest degree of happiness.
For me, I find happiness in the simple pleasures of life: a chocolate bar, a glimpse of a beautiful sunset, running into an old acquaintance, or even art therapy (AKA dipping my fingers in paint and creating a colourful mess).
While we all aspire to be happy some way or another, we need to understand that short-term happiness should not be our goal. Although short-term happiness is not bad (small perks do keep you cheerful and motivated through days which would otherwise seem soul-destroying and mind-numbing), focusing on pursuing short-term happiness over long-term growth is alluring.
Have you heard of The Happiness Trap?
Instant Gratification occurs when you are focused on pursuing short-term happiness rather than long-term growth. You focus more on how you look than on who you are as a person. You keep friends only because they boost your ego or rather than looking for friends who would really stand by you when you needed them.
The Happiness Trap also looks like all the candy and desserts that you eat when you are meant to be on a weight-loss plan, consoling yourself with “just one won’t hurt”. Sometimes it comes in a “Self-Care” label where you sleep in, rather than go to the gym. Or where you crash diet to lose weight quickly rather than adopt a lifestyle change and quit eating processed foods and sugar.
With COVID-19 highlighting life’s uncertainties, many of us I’m sure, including myself, fell into the Happiness Trap (I developed a fountain pen fetish and ended up acquiring 40 pens and numerous shades of ink in just 7 months!). I wanted to feel instantly happy, and what better way than to hop on the internet and order more fountain pens than I really need.
Making Wiser Choices
I guess it all comes down to making better choices. We are often influenced by our emotions. We do not want to feel sad or depressed, so we end up looking for ways where we can instantly transform that negative emotion into a more positive one.
This is where your Mindful Awareness comes into check. When you feel that your emotions are getting the better of you and luring you towards the Happiness Trap, ask yourself: “How will I feel about today’s decision tomorrow, next week, next year or five years from now?” (erm, Fountain Pen, anyone?)
We have to stop seeking short-term happiness and start making choices which will please our future selves the most. No matter how bad the present feels, we need to learn to ride through it and focus on our long-term growth journey.
Long-term growth is a dedication to your future self and life. It requires sacrificing your sleep, your favourite candy, that Limited edition Rose Gold Fountain pen in order to reach your goals, be it physical, mental or even financial.
Pursuing long-term growth requires strength, courage and, most important, self-love and self-respect. So why not do something today that you’ll love yourself for tomorrow and take a new perspective on what it means to be happy in the world?
Alia Datoo, Transformational Holistic Energy Coach
