How To Manage A Rebellious Child!

Is your rebellious child driving you up the wall? Don’t worry you are not alone! A child can be rebellious at any age be it at a toddler stage or during the teens. It’s therefore not uncommon for parents to experience conflict with their child over a list of things. If your child is breaking every rule and acting out, giving you nightmares, don’t worry! Even though it’s not pleasant and can cause a lot of grief and stress, this is manageable. As a parent, it’s important to learn not just the cause of your child’s rebellious behaviour but most importantly how to manage it and prevent it.

Situational issues- Believe it or not, one of the main contributing factors to rebellious behaviour is the home environment, if you are a violent spouse or an alcoholic or an uninterested parent for example then this can have a negative impact on your child. You have to be a good, clear, consistent and sensible parent to bring out the good in your child. Find the balance in parenting by avoiding being over assertive, overprotective, or having excessive tolerance etc. Your child looks up to you as a role model and how your mould your child depends on how they view you as a parent. Every child is different so what might work with one child may not necessarily work with another.

Physiological issues can also affect your child’s behaviour. Simple things like hunger or lack of sleep can cause rebellious behaviour so you must keep an eye out!

1. Have Rules & Boundaries & STICK TO THEM- Rules and boundaries are needed for discipline. This shouldn’t be confused with being strict and restrictive. Always give your child space with the freedom of choice but have firm, clearly defined rules and limits that will help your child grow up to be a disciplined loving child and not a rebellious one. Consistency is key and if those rules are broken a consequence should follow according to their age. A child needs to feel secure and this comes from the consistent discipline that is firm yet loving.

2. Keep Your Emotions At Bay- Yes, it’s stressful and can take a toll on you, but overreacting never helps. Resist the urge to overreact. Stay calm and levelheaded. It’s easy to lash out and this makes the situation worse as this sets a negative tone. If you want to correct your child, you need to set an example and you need to find the right way to express your feelings of unhappiness or frustration to your child without yelling at them. Be patient and deal with your child patiently and appropriately for his/her age. If it is a young one sit them down and help them count or help them take deep slow breaths to calm them down.

3. Give Them Some Freedom & Never Dictate- Parents sometimes feel they have the right to decide for their child and thus every choice is made by the parent for the child. You need to understand that some freedom is good for your child as it develops a sense of independence and self-confidence. Let your child make certain choices no matter how small it is, be it a toddler or a teenager. If you have a toddler let them, for instance, decide the colour of their clothes, or what they want to eat for their snack. If you are dealing with a teenager have conditional choices with boundaries, as long as they aren’t into something risky such as drugs or alcohol, giving them some freedom can go a long way. Remember restricting a child and constantly keeping a tab on them pushes them away and makes them rebellious. If you say I don’t want you to do drugs, your child will most likely do it defiantly. It’s better to have open conversations where you can explain why drugs are bad and should be avoided. This way you build a trusting relationship and your teenager will be happy to share and ask questions.

4. Have Hope- Just because your child seems to be doing better doesn’t mean there won’t be regressive moments. As long as you are consistent and don’t give up, you will be able to get through it. It is best to focus on your child’s positives and not to let one slipup be a sign of failure. Remember a pattern or a bad habit takes time, patience & consistency to overcome. Be patient and sooner or later you will have an understanding child.