‘How We Receive Is How We Give’ – Positive Reflection Of The Week
‘HOW WE RECEIVE IS HOW WE GIVE’ – By Khilan Shah
We have a strong admiration for people who, despite how bad their position is, refuse to accept help, gifts or charity from anyone. Their mentality can be seen to be strong, but could it also be a display of stubborn ego or pride? In the early hours of the morning one day, during the silence at the end of my Atma Kriya Yoga practice, it came to my awareness that I was also one of those people refuse to receive any help offered freely entirely due to my own pride and arrogance. I also discovered that I had put self-imposed limitations on my availability and my ability to receive help from the Divine.
Answer the following question truthfully. How would you feel if you were the one in the charitable home or on the streets receiving that gift or help? Would you have felt grateful? Or ashamed? How do you feel about receiving help in your day-to-day life?
If we are too ashamed to accept help, what does that say about how we give? Is this not ridiculing or mocking the ones receiving our help and gifts as they are in a position that would be shameful to us?
RECEIVING AND GIVING GO HAND-IN-HAND
Without the receiver, there can be no giver. Most of the time, the emphasis is on serving and giving, and very little is said about receiving.
In fact, receiving is often equated to taking. There is a huge spiritual difference between the two. Taking involves greed and entitlement, whilst receiving involves humility and appreciation. In learning to receive correctly we open our hearts to the depths of love and in turn learn to give correctly. This is true to receiving gifts, help, and even compliments.
We find it difficult to receive for many reasons. Fear of having a connection with the giver and intimacy is one of them. We have been conditioned to believe receiving is selfish and there are always strings attached to the giver. We also have a self-imposed belief that we need to reciprocate similar or better. Lastly, we may feel we will lose control and expose our vulnerability by receiving. These belief systems have ultimately doctored the way we give as well and it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.
HOW YOU RECEIVE SHOWS HOW YOU GIVE
I had the opportunity to present Paramahamsa Vishwananda with a gift on behalf of some Kenyan devotees and followers on Christmas of last year. I said ‘Sri Krishna Arpan’, meaning ‘Everything Belongs to Krishna’, on behalf of the devotees, as I held the gift towards Paramahamsa Vishwananda. He held the gift in His hands along with mine and responded softly with a short prayer displaying emotions of immense Love, kindness, care, and deep connection to those who had sent it.
Receiving is not about you. Most times people give because of certain feelings of love or of friendship towards you, and not just for the sake of giving. Whether you asked for the gift or if you deserve it or not is secondary. They want to experience giving you something and feel the love you may feel when you also give to someone. Allow and honour that. It’s not about you.
Receive with gratitude and humility. Let in the care and connection with the giver. Don’t focus on the gift itself or feel inadequate or that you will need to reciprocate. Feel the warmth and kindness. Receive as if receiving a gift from God with gratitude and humility.
GIVING AWAY WHAT WE HAVE RECEIVED ON A DAILY BASIS
As brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, friends, lovers, and any and all relationships – do we receive with gratitude and humility? Are we mindfully being present in the moment by showing and allowing in the love of the action? Are we offering the giver a chance to cherish and enjoy their intimacy with us?
As teachers and organisers for Bhakti Marga Sadhana – having received blessings to teach and organize these beautiful and powerful spiritual practices – are we fully, intentionally and actively sharing and spreading these techniques to the best of our abilities to give others the chance to also benefit from them?
As practising yogis, meditators, and OM Chanting participants – having received the knowledge of these wonderful techniques – are we regularly and enthusiastically practising them? Do we practice not only for our individual benefit but to also give back to the community and environment around us by showing up each day to practice and participate in the transformations that our sadhana creates around us?
CONCLUSION
To conclude with a paragraph from the book, Dancing with Fire: A Mindful Way to Loving Relationships by John Amodeo, Ph.D., MFT.
“THE PARCHED EARTH CAN’T LET IN A LIFE-GIVING RAIN IF IT IS COVERED BY PLASTIC TARP…WITHOUT THE CAPACITY TO BE TOUCHED BY CARING AND APPRECIATION, WE RENDER THESE GIFTS LESS MEANINGFUL. SACRED RECEIVING, LETTING THINGS IN WITH HEARTFELT GRATITUDE, IS A GIFT TO THE GIVER! WHEN WE ARE VISIBLY MOVED, IT CONVEYS THAT THEY’VE MADE A DIFFERENCE IN OUR LIVES…BOTH PEOPLE ARE GIVING AND RECEIVING IN THEIR OWN UNIQUE WAYS. THIS SHARED EXPERIENCE CAN BE PROFOUNDLY SACRED AND INTIMATE—A MOMENT OF DELECTABLE GRACE.”
With the taxi waiting to rush me to the airport to fly back to Kenya early January this year, I very greedily, eagerly, and willingly felt and received the Love from Paramahamsa Vishwananda during Darshan in Germany. He held some gifts in front of me to take back to Kenya for His devotees and followers. As I received on their behalf with a beaming smile feeling a warmth in my heart, I froze unable to think or move. At this moment all of my attention was focused entirely on Paramahamsa Vishwananda. Looking gently at me with a sparkle in His eyes, His parting words are still echoing in my ears.
“PASS MY LOVE TO EVERYONE”.
