How To Thrive In A Relationship- By Reshma

What Do YOU Need To Thrive In A Relationship?

Be Happy And Feel Powerful

If we are not happy, then we will not be able to give happiness. Happiness comes from within, it cannot be found in another person other than yourself. So until and unless you are able to feel complete on your own, being in a relationship is inadvisable. Don’t lose your power based on the whims and moods of your partner, because your self-worth is only determined by you.

It’s Okay To Argue

Accept disagreements as normal. Conflicts happen all the time. Don’t be quick to leave a relationship just because you’re experiencing some turbulence (unless of course there are serious problems such as addictions, abuse, infidelity, violence etc). The more you steer storms together, the more your trust and commitment to each other will deepen.

Space

Space is very essential for a relationship. It gives your partner an opportunity to look at their thoughts, unwind after a long day, and to work on individual issues. Past wounds, and any other emotional healing is hard when having to be accountable to a partner. So if your partner asks for physical space, by all means, give them the world.

Grow Up

Sometimes, what we consider ‘normal’ may actually be destructive to you or the others. Being mature would mean being able to understand and handle your emotions without escalating them and resorting to a blame game. Ask yourself questions such as “ Am i leading a fulfilling, meaningful and intimate relationship? Am i feeling healthy? All of us have issues from the past, and the only way out of them is through. Have the courage to face them and seek outside help if needed.

Boundaries

In another article (setting boundaries) I had mentioned about how important it is to sit up and take charge of your lives. It is necessary to reach out and claim what you rightfully deserve in the relationship, by being able to receive as much as be able to give. Live your relationship in mutual respect and do not allow anyone to treat you like a doormat. Do not let your relationship die from silence, from unspoken words and from being complacent when you could have responded.

Your Needs Also Come First

Me-time is very crucial for a relationship. It is common to underestimate the importance of going out and enjoying time with friends and family without your partner. Yes, You can ask your partner to help you meet your needs, but if they are unable to do so at that time, please don’t see it as rejection. Instead see it as an opportunity to be self-reliant when it is necessary. Remember, if you are constantly in your partner’s face, they will resent it and so will you.

Your Internal Voice Matters

Find some time every day to get quiet and meditate on your relationship. Does it help you grow? Make some clear space in your head so you can listen to the voice of your intuition. It is very easy to get drowned in the opinions of family and friends when things look bleak, but it is even better to rise above and listen to your heart. It knows well.

 

By Reshma Raju
M.Sc Psychology,
Certified Women’s Health Coach (USA)