How To Pick A Narcissist – H&S Love Affair

Are You In A Relationship With A Narcissist?

Let’s get this right, posting too many selfies on social media doesn’t necessarily qualify someone to be a narcissist. A true narcissist is someone who has NPD or narcissistic personality disorder which is a mental condition. To make it easy a narcissistic person is extremely selfish at the expense of others and has the inability to consider others’ feelings at all. The common characteristics of a narcissist include:

• Having an extreme sense of importance
• Having a need for excessive attention and admiration
• Having zero empathy for others
• Having troubled relationships

Despite the above, it can be extremely difficult to pick out a narcissist especially if you are involved with one romantically and most of the time it takes an expert to identify a narcissistic person. However, if you want to learn how you can identify if you are in love with a narcissist you need to keep reading.

8 Signs You’re In A Relationship With A Narcissist: 

1. They Appear To Be Big Charmers- In the beginning period of the relationship they may seem like they have fallen way too deep with you making you feel extremely special, however, the story changes quickly when you have done something that seems disapproving or disappointing to them. Remember if it appears too good to be true you know something is wrong!

2. They’re Self-Obsessed- Have you noted that most conversations are typically based around ‘me, myself & I’? Do the conversations involve constant self-bragging? If the conversation appears one-sided and doesn’t involve any engagements this is a sign you’re with a narcissist.

3. They Crave Compliments- Narcissistic people live off compliments. They know how to fish for them even when you won’t give them any even if it means putting others down or hurting someone else’s feelings. They need compliments to keep their self-esteem up and make them feel good about themselves.

4. They Lack Empathy- This is a typical description of a narcissist. They don’t have feelings for anyone else. Is your partner reacting to your reactions appropriately? A narcissistic person has an inability to feel what you are feeling simply because they can’t grasp the concept. Most of the time when you are in a relationship with a narcissist you will feel unheard, unwanted, or unloved like your feelings don’t matter.

5. You Feel Gaslighted- Most often narcissists psychologically manipulate and use emotional abuse that may make you question your sanity. They are good at twisting and turning things in their favour to get what they want.

6. They Try To Lower Your Self-Esteem- If you are constantly being picked on, ridiculed at, laughed upon and the behaviour seems to be mean and not funny then you are a victim of a narcissist. It’s obvious why they do this because of their own personal low self-esteem. They want to look & feel superior.

7. They Play The Blame Game & Won’t Apologize Ever- A narcissistic person believes they’re always right no matter what & for this reason you won’t ever hear them say sorry!

8. They Won’t Let You Walk Away Easily & When You Do It Will Be Your Fault- Every time you try to walk away and break up they’ll try that much harder to keep you in the relationship and will even pretend as they’ve changed. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist you will find yourself typically in an on-again, off-again romantic relationship until you are replaced or you finally walkout. If you do finally walk out of the relationship they will blame it on you and lash out by saying hurtful things and will eventually end up with someone just to hurt you and get back at you.

What you need to understand is that nothing is good enough for a narcissist and you can never make them happy no matter what you do. Being in a relationship with a narcissistic person can take a huge toll on you emotionally and can be extremely draining. It’s advisable to pick the red flags and walk out early. However, this is not the case most of the times as it’s not easy to pick a narcissist. By the time most people walk out, they have already been through a lot and for this reason, it’s advisable to see a therapist as they will help you recover from the emotional abuse due to constant criticism, belittling & gaslighting. It’s important once you have walked away to stop all communication with them as a narcissist feels their ego has been hurt and will go to any means to get you back just to do that all over again to you.