How To Be A Role Model! – An Article By Alvira Diwan

Be A Role Model For Your Children – Written By Alvira Diwan

It is said that children are like raw clay that can be moulded in any desirable way. The saying is actually quite true. Apart from the genes that they have inherited from their maternal and paternal side of family, the environment that they live in has a great influence on their personality and behavior.

Children are also very good imitators, they enjoy repeating things on a loop. “Imitation is the ability to learn behaviors by observing other people’s actions.” Through imitation they try to make a connection with the society which makes them feel that they are alike! Their curiosity makes it easier for them to learn a specific behavior that they observe in people around them.

As they grow up, they make role models on the basis of closeness and how much they can relate to that person.
A boy would try and act like his father and a girl would copy her mother’s mannerisms. Their is no secret as to why they do that; copying a parent because of the similar gender. As Natural imitators they try to replicate every action their parents do.

Here comes the important part: in early childhood, children copy imitable actions but as they grow up and their observation skills increase they start noticing their parents perception too.

Parents and caregivers are role models that influence a child greatly in fact to an extent, that what they have seen or experienced in their childhood stays in their personality lifelong. Even if it’s not intent it remains within them.
Negativity, wrong acts, fights with your husband/wife, abusive language and so on will have an adverse effect on their minds.

They cannot reason out things i.e. if you behave in a certain manner they would believe it to be the standard measurement of behavior. When a boy sees his father abusing his mother, he tends to think that it is normal of men to treat women in the same manner. When a girl sees her mother getting abused and not complaining about the behavior, she gets a notion that a silent treatment is the reaction of the abuse. The cycle thus continues! Similarly the father shows his daughter what to look for in a relationship with a man. She would look for the qualities of her father that has impressed her the most. The same goes for the son, he would want his partner to resemble the loving nature of his mother. Parents not only influence their child’s personality but also their perception. Show them how to behave instead of telling them.

There is a famous saying, “Children have never been good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

 

Alvira Diwan
Masters in Clinical Psychology
PsychWorks Clinic

 

If you have any concerns or questions as parents, leave your comments below & Alvira Diwan will get back to you!