Cheating In A Relationship – H&S Love Affair

Reasons For Cheating & How To Mend A Relationship Post-Cheating

Cheating is by far one of the major causes of breakups! When trying to define this word it can have many meanings. In a relationship, it doesn’t only mean sleeping or having an affair with another person. Cheating can be of many types. Having thoughts of someone else, or fantasizing about someone else can also be defined as cheating. If you have to delete your texts or clear your phone log so that your partner can’t have a look or if you simply can’t look into your partner’s eyes and answer his/her questions then it clearly means you have something to hide! This is as good as cheating! Remember you don’t have to physically be in a relationship with someone for it to qualify as cheating. Your thoughts and actions can also equate to the definition of cheating. So what are the causes of cheating?

Reasons For Cheating:

1. Lack Of The Feeling “LOVE”- When you aren’t in love with someone it’s very common to fall into the trap of cheating. This is usually more common in arranged marriages for instance. However, it is also common to fall out of love with someone you used to love which can be due to many reasons such as lack of communication for e.g. or if one is in along distance relationship.

2. Dwelling In The Past- If you had a longtime lover and you can’t seem to get over that person, then it’s very possible to end up cheating.

3. The Feeling Of Being Neglected- Let’s face it no one wants to be neglected in a relationship. However, sometimes it’s possible to be neglected by your partner especially when they have long working hours or when their work requires travel.

4. No Reason At All- As the saying goes once a cheater always a cheater this is true for some but not all. Some people cheat out of habit and honestly not much can be done about it. This could be because they came from a broken family where cheating was accepted as the norm. It’s actually very difficult to find out the reason behind them cheating and usually, these kinds of people develop sadistic behaviour and enjoy cheating on their partners.

5. Psychological Reasons- The wanting to feel self-worthy or important can cause one to cheat. This is more of a psychological issue and a counsellor in most cases can help.

6. Cheated On By Your Partner- Sometimes when one is cheated on by the partner it’s just a normal thing to want to do the same, to make them realise how it feels. This can be due to anger or resentment.

Remember, by no means is cheating ever acceptable or should be taken as the norm. It’s quite simple- Cheating is unacceptable and it’s wrong to cheat, whatever the reason may be. If your partner cheated then you cheating doesn’t make it even, it just means you are as bad as your partner.

How To Repair Your Relationship Post-Cheating:

Remember if your partner has found out that they have been cheated on, it’s not easy for them to overcome that. There’s a betrayal of trust, a potent foundation that all relationships are built upon. If your partner is understanding and has been benevolent enough to give you a second chance you’re one of the lucky few.

Here are the steps to redemption:

1. Accept Your Mistake- Accept that you have done the wrong thing! This is the first step towards redemption & then promise your partner to never repeat the same mistake ever again.

2. End The Cheating- Stop cheating with whoever it is and make sure never to be in contact with them. Permanently delete the person from your system.

3. Figure Out The Cause- Be completely honest with yourself and try and change whatever it is that led you to cheat. In time, when your partner is ready to hear about it you can explain yourself, but don’t try and hide behind the cause, remember whatever the cause you were WRONG!

4. Allow Your Partner Some Time To HEAL- This is extremely normal and you should respect your partner & give them some space.