Being Used In A Relationship? – H&S Love Affair

6 Signs: The Certainty You’re Being Used In A Relationship!

A successful relationship is all about “give & take”! An unhealthy relationship, on the other hand, is when one partner tends to use the other. At times this may be unintentional however being used is definitely not a great feeling and it can be detrimental to your relationship in the long run! So the question is then how to spot a user & what it is that can be done to address the issues? Remember to ask yourself the following: are you happy & satisfied in the relationship? Do you believe that you are being used? If your answers lead strongly towards a drowning feeling, suggesting that you are being used then it’s time to either assess & change the situation or leave permanently! Do know it’s not always easy to pick a user as a user can be very manipulative, and can use excuses and the guilt trip to mask his/her image. Here are some of the pointers/signs that will help you realise that you are being used!

1. You Just Can’t Say ‘NO’- You feel you are obliged to your partner and can’t say no, least realising that they’ve actually conditioned you in such a way where if you deny or refuse their request you will end up being doomed! Whether it is from that threat of the aftermath, or for plain reasons that you can’t see them hurt! You don’t realise that you are caught in a trap! Watch out for the manipulation signs!

What Needs To Be Done: Face your fears and practise saying ‘No’. If that person really loves you, he/she won’t leave you. Let your partner get used to the idea of being told ‘No’ to.

2. You Are Just Uneasy With Your Partner- If you feel uncomfortable being with your partner, and every moment seems dreadful then this is a sign that you are with a user. Being in a relationship shouldn’t be easy but should definitely be comfy. If there’s uneasiness due to the lack of balance between the “give & take” then this is should raise a red flag!

What Needs To Be Done: Express your feelings to your partner! Don’t bottle up as ultimately this is a do or die situation!

3. Everything Revolves Around Your Partner- Whether it’s watching a favourite movie, or going out to a restaurant. If everything is based around your partner’s preference and it’s always their way and your needs aren’t being met, then you know you’re stuck with a user!

What Needs To Be Done: Remember balance is the key! If you’re doing all the giving & you know you are being used, speak up! Let your partner know how you feel and that you too would like some days to have your way! If you feel it’s a self-esteem issue where you believe it’s your partner’s right to use you then you need to work on your self-worth and you should consider seeking professional help!

4. Your Partner Is Nice Only When It’s Convenient To Them – There will be a pattern to this so observe closely! Is your partner suddenly super sweet when he/she wants something? Does he/she give you a cold shoulder as soon as you have given in to whatever it is that they desired? If the answer to both these questions were ‘Yes’, then wake up and stop being manipulated!

What Needs To Be Done: Again balance is the key! You too should be able to ask for favours, and if your partner refuses all the time then they have no respect for you. Either you need to speak your mind and point out how your favours are always being brushed and how it makes you feel, or maybe try refusing them and then make them realise how it feels.

5. You Feel Guilty And/Or The Need To Apologise- It’s normal to have disagreements and sometimes hurtful things are said by one another that one actually doesn’t mean. At the end of an argument or disagreement couples hug it out by apologising and resolving the problem. If you feel like you’re always saying sorry then it means that your partner is making you feel guilty even when you are the one who is hurt.

What Needs To Be Done: Stop apologising for everything and get a grip! You don’t want to constantly have your feelings marginalised! Point out what needs to be pointed out clearly, let them realise you can’t be taken for granted and manipulated! No more guilt trips!!

6. Your Close Friends & Family Disapprove The Relationship- If your friends and family aren’t happy to listen to them. Most family & true friends would always have your best interest! You can be smitten in love and as a result, blinded!

What Needs To Be Done: Keeping your feelings aside have a conversation and let your partner know truthfully what you want from the relationship. A healthy conversation may help resolve the issues. Also, listen to your intuition, parents & friends aren’t always necessarily right, go with your intuition along with reasoning!

Remember, communication & balance are important when you are wanting to give your relationship a chance! Also, practice self-care & know your self-worth! Don’t let your partner’s manipulation change you, remember if they want to leave nothing stops them but living in the constant fear of being dumped is detrimental to your mental & physical health. Demand the respect you deserve by either saying a simple ‘no’ or asking for an apology. You will know how much your partner respects you or doesn’t. If your partner doesn’t, then you have hit a dead, it’s now time to cut your losses and move on!